I think I am weak. Not wholly, no. But to certain things, without a doubt.
When I reflect on how I might turn out, when I'm considering the future and so on, I see just how weak that I could be. But even if I would put up with almost anything from those that I love? That doesn't exempt the fact that I hate being in the dark. I'm too much like an animal in that sense. I'll just... lose it.
And I hate losing it. I hate not having control over myself. It's the bigges tthing that keeps me so reined in. I don't want to be spread out so thin. But is being happy and silly really so bad? I don't know. I loved last night, walking across Main and doing the hula in a dollar store, hiding under the covers and acting like my DS was a campfire. Posing in front of someone else's mirror and finally giving in to my own exhaustion.
It was nice. I want to do it more often. I hope I can let those little things add up in these next few months. Then, after that 9, the little things will become everything and maybe after some prep, I'll always be giggling like a mad woman. Maybe I won't be so afraid to let out my obnoxious laugh.
Or maybe I'll complicate things. I don't know. Grahhh. /randomnoisesftw.
I drew on my arm yesterday too--with eyeliner--and traced out "Romantic" in half-assed Olde English script. I love that word. I love every implication behind it. "One of the dying few, we the Romantics~" Chivalry, chivalry. It's okay if chivalry dies. I'll be your knight in shining armor regardless~.
I have a thirst for words today.
Avante Guardian is my favorite band of any style, any genre, any age group that there ever was and ever will be. Even A Love Like Pi can't compete. If anyone can find their videos, their mp3s, direct me to them<3.>
Question of the Day: If your school played music in passing --like mine!--, what song would you sing aloud without a second thought on it? What song would make you fall over with blood dribbling out of your ears?