Dear Blank,
This game of hide and seek is kind of funny sometimes. Then there are the times when it isn't quite so fun. I'm afraid that I might shoo you away without realizing it. Would you really be as stubborn as they say you would? This must be confusing.
Yesterday, a polite enough Someone sat down beside me. Out of everyone, Someone always smiles at me and I at Someone in the halls. Why? Because it's polite not to grimace at every strange face you see, isn't it? And besides, call me lazy; it takes more muscles to frown. Well, smile or no, Someone sat on the bench with me. And with a polite greeting on the tongue--I cut Someone off by pulling out my mp3 and turning it up to the highest volume that it would go.
Ten uneasy minutes later, Someone left and I felt the inkling of regret.
Not that I plan on committing to anything any time soon, but imagine, Blank, if I cling to these habits and shy from you? I hate not knowing you, I hate not being able to feel whether or not you're as tangible as Blithe, or Rune, or Carlisle, or as full as Alanna, or Brittany, or Amanda. Sometimes I don't want to and that's when I realize I have to stop. 'Those the steps I can't take, I refuse.' I wish that there were a way to ask you for help in this.
Are you thinking the same thing? Or are you busy building bridges elsewhere?
Yesterday, a polite enough Someone sat down beside me. Out of everyone, Someone always smiles at me and I at Someone in the halls. Why? Because it's polite not to grimace at every strange face you see, isn't it? And besides, call me lazy; it takes more muscles to frown. Well, smile or no, Someone sat on the bench with me. And with a polite greeting on the tongue--I cut Someone off by pulling out my mp3 and turning it up to the highest volume that it would go.
Ten uneasy minutes later, Someone left and I felt the inkling of regret.
Not that I plan on committing to anything any time soon, but imagine, Blank, if I cling to these habits and shy from you? I hate not knowing you, I hate not being able to feel whether or not you're as tangible as Blithe, or Rune, or Carlisle, or as full as Alanna, or Brittany, or Amanda. Sometimes I don't want to and that's when I realize I have to stop. 'Those the steps I can't take, I refuse.' I wish that there were a way to ask you for help in this.
Are you thinking the same thing? Or are you busy building bridges elsewhere?
~
Question of the Day: The weirdest, most random things worry me at times. Is there anything like that for you?
-kissu-
ReplyDeleteI feel the same sort of doubts, love. And you know what worries me. =kissu=