Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Fields Forever

Thanksgiving! Grief, this year is quickly coming to a close, isn't it? 

There were some parts that dragged on. There were some parts that went far too fast. Now things are somewhere in the middle and I see my birthday looming on the horizon. Nineteen, you know. My last 'teen' year and I've still yet to take advantage of that whole excuse of, "Oh, she's just a kid. They rebel, ya?" Sometimes I wonder if I should've been a complete idiot and sneaked out of the house, ran off with some friends, and... What do naughty, rebelling teenagers do? (Other than... illegal things. I do not wish I'd gone to jail, thank you.)

The present always seems to be full of query for both the past and the future. We're never satisfied with what's right in front of us. We have to look back and consider each step we've taken, then we have to work out each scenario in our minds and try to tell where we're going to end up. It can be hard to look at where our two feet are in this exact moment. Are we sitting in sludge, not moving at all, or are we slipping on the wind? Like I said, things are somewhere in the middle for me now. I'm savoring each minute I spend, indulging in my thoughts and letting my mind go. I smile freely, not caring who sees or how the world might react.

I have an urge to read something. I've even resorted to reading Harry Potter fanfiction to keep this urge satisfied. (I didn't even read the original books!) I've got Charles de Lint just waiting to be gobbled up but it's hard to find the time or place to really dig in, ya? I will, though. Give it time. Thanksgiving week is a bit busy for these things, mm?

Sigh. What am I thankful for? So many things, to be honest. As always, I'm thankful for the fact that I'm still alive, that I've made it this far. I'm thankful for the luxuries of this life, for the friends who have made up my family, for the knowledge I've gained. It's daunting to reflect on what I've got ahead, on how this semester has twisted and turned in on itself. I'm thankful for the fact that I can look at it and not freak out, not break down. I can just... smile. And nod. And know that I'll be able to handle it, some way or another. 

People like to say that I'm strong, but you know? I'm only as strong as they've made me. Each step of the way, I've had something to look to, somewhere to aim, and every so often, there'd be someone there holding onto my arm, keeping me up. I'm walking with confidence in my stride now, despite the dank shadows that are all wrapped up around the curve ahead. 

Thank you. Everyone. Thank you, World.

Question of the Day:
(Wait for it! Wai~t for it...)
What are YOU thankful for? Seriously! Think about it. What makes you smile, makes your heart warm?
(Could'a seen that one a mile away.)


  1. What am I thankful for? Well, I suppose that I'm thankful for Arkada inception of the IRC and introducing me to literally all of my circle of friends in cyberspace.

    I find it funny that you say you've resorted to reading Harry Potter fanfiction when you admit in the same sentence that you haven't read the actual books, I guess that can be chalked up to fanfiction being free to read. I can't help but think that you could be occupying your mind with something better in the way of fiction.

  2. <3 Thankful for love. Thankful for the changes in my life. Thankful for you. (:

  3. I'm thankful for meeting you and befriending you. I thankful for all the fun you've have given me, for being my friend and showing me a different side of myself that I had forgotten or thought I lost.

    I'm even thankful for watching you, just the simple things, like just seeing you happy and laughing. All that makes me happy, it makes me want to smile and laugh, through you I'm able to heal what scars and wounds I thought would never heal and mend. You give me strength in believing in myself again a confidence I didn't think I had any more.
    So thank you Shannon,
    for being my friend and family

  4. I'm thankful for my pride. If it wasn't for that who knows how much of a low life I could have ended up to be. I'm thankful that I have many dreams, maybe not realistic ones but ones that can keep me happy. I'm thankful that I know who is the right people to keep around me. If it wasn't for my friends I wouldn't smile like I do, i wouldn't come up with ideas like I do, and i would me who I am today. as much as i think i change you guys i really believe that you guys change me the most, for the best. :)